If you rush of too quickly for intercourse, you may enjoy the fast ejaculation but your partner will probably experience pain and discomfort, which will prompt her to ignore your sexual advances in future.

For a man the duration of sex matters a lot and it’s often seen that male getting depressed seeing that they ejaculate too early and this is often seen when you try to finish up the thing in a jiffy.

People should just try to relax and enjoy the lovemaking rather than concentrating on the performance or the way they are doing it. If they concentrate on other things instead of lovemaking then they sex will become stale. So, the best thing is to try to go slowly right from foreplay to the lower portion of the body.

The trick is to involve your mind and whole body in lovemaking to enjoy the optimum pleasure of sex. Let your partner to get ready for intercourse, which will make both of you to have blast in bed or else you will be blasting each other for depriving them the ecstasy of sex.

By going slowly during sex you will not be making the most common mistakes that are rushing too fast for penetrative sex, performing too mechanically and ejaculating too early. Men are also worried about ejaculating too fast and about the size of their penises.

But, the fact is that size of the penis hardly matters. It’s the lovemaking that counts. Still, if you are pensive about the size of penis then you can try out Vigrx, which is highly recommended for enhancing the size of the penis. VigRX works by encouraging peripheral tissue vasodilation to improve arterial erectile function.

Coming too soon may be due to a physical medical condition, but this is not common. Most men who ejaculate prematurely do so because of learned behavior and sexual beliefs, or because they haven’t discovered the simple techniques that can help them last.

In order to make ejaculation completely voluntary, a man must learn to do two things. First he must learn to keep his entire body relaxed regardless of how sexually aroused he becomes. Second he must learn to move the sexual charge that builds up during lovemaking away from his genitals and circulate that energy throughout his entire body.

RELAXATION

Men usually tense their bodies as ejaculation approaches. This is a natural involuntary reflex, but by deliberately applying some of the following relaxation techniques you can become skilled at letting go and staying loose even at intense levels of sexual arousal.

MassageFew things enable a man to be as profoundly relaxed as a loving erotic full-body massage. Women can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies by giving them a massage as a prelude to intercourse. Most men will notice a significant improvement in their ability to delay ejaculation after receiving a massage. Not only does massage help relax your body, it also opens up your flow of energy so that the sexual charge does not get stuck in your genitals.

Stop And Become Still Or Slow DownBefore you get to the point of no return, try slowing or stopping all movement. This usually works every time. Wait for the energy and excitement to subside and then you can resume active lovemaking.

Breathe Slowly And DeeplyAs you come close to climax, switch your attention away from your genitals onto your breath. Take slow deep breaths that fill your entire lungs. Make your exhalation last about as long as your inhalation. Let your body go loose. Open your eyes and make eye contact with your partner. Try to breathe in rhythm together. Continue breathing in this deliberate way until your sexual energy has calmed down.

Avoid Stimulating The FrenulumThe frenulum is the bulge of loose skin just below the glans head on the underside of your penis. This spot is very easily excitable and can build the man too quickly to climax. Stay away from this spot to avoid involuntary ejaculation.

Squeezing The GlansThe glans of the penis is the big smooth head at the top of the penis shaft. When ejaculation is imminent you or your partner can squeeze the glans firmly and hold on tight. With the other hand use your thumb and index finger to press firmly on both sides of your penis at the base where the penis rises from the pubic bone. This effectively cuts off the neurological ejaculatory response from your brain to your prostate and will stop the ejaculation. This technique is easiest to use when your are being stimulated orally or manually. It also requires split second timing. Do not do it if ejaculation has already begun, it can be quite painful!

Three Finger Perineum PressWhen you reach a point of high arousal and you know ejaculation is close, you or your partner can press on the perineum, the stretch of skin between your anus and scrotum. In preparation for using the technique during active intercourse, try touching this spot when an ejaculation starts and you will feel the vibrations of climax in your prostate gland. This is how you will know where to press. Notice where the vibrations are strongest – usually at about the midpoint on the perineum. To delay ejaculation, when you are at the point of no return but before the ejaculation has started, press firmly on this area of the perineum with the first three fingers of either hand. You can do this yourself or your partner can do it for you. Hold until the urge to ejaculate subsides.

MOVING YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY

Learning to circulate hot sexual energy is not really difficult, but it takes discipline and practice. Within a few days of trying some of the techniques mentioned below you’ll likely notice an improvement in your ability to delay ejaculation. Real sexual energy mastery, however, may take several months or even years. But unlike childhood piano lessons this is practice you’ll look forward to!

The PC Pump PC stands for pubococcygeus muscle. Actually the PC muscle is a group of muscles that together make up the pelvic diaphragm which stretches from your pubic bone around to your tailbone. It includes muscles used in urination and bowel movements, muscles around your anus, testicles, penis, and perineum. Pumping the PC muscle is one of the easiest, simplest and fastest ways to learn to move energy and delay ejaculation. Pumping the PC muscle means squeezing or contracting the muscle and then allowing it to relax repeatedly. Alternately you can squeeze and then push out. You can do rapid pumps or long slow ones.

When you squeeze the PC muscle you pump the hot sexual energy up from your genitals and into the upper part of your body. This prevents the sexual energy from building up to involuntary ejaculation. If you can stay relaxed and move energy away from your prostate as fast as it builds up, you can delay ejaculation as long as you want. This is how Tantric lovers are able to extend active lovemaking for 6 or 8 hours or more. By the way, strengthening your PC muscle usually results in longer and stronger ejaculations when you do have them.

Add PC pumping to your fitness routine. Build up to several hundred squeezes per day over a two week period and eventually (if you are really keen) increase to 1000 or more per day. This might sound like a lot but you can do 100 PC squeezes in a few minutes. You don’t even need to find new time to do PC pumps—try them when you are standing in line, driving your car, hoisting a few at the bar.

Make SoundAs you get more and more excited make lots of sounds. You can moan, groan, yell, scream, chant, sing, growl and make animal noises. The louder and stronger the sounds you make the more that sound will carry your sexual energy with it, up and away from your genitals. A wonderful technique is to harmonize your chanting sounds with your lover. When you do this at the peak of sexual arousal the sounds you make together can be exquisitely beautiful.

Hand MovementsMoving your hands up your body, or having your partner move her hands up your body from your genitals to the top of your head, either on the front or back of your body, is an amazingly simple but effective way to move energy. You and your partner can do this repeatedly throughout the length of your lovemaking.

The Big DrawYou can alternate relaxing your body with a conscious full-body contraction—the Big Draw. Breathe very deeply and rapidly for about a minute when you are almost ready to come. Then hold your breath and clench every muscle in your body. Tighten you fists. Curl your toes. Grit your teeth. Tighten your buttocks, abdomen, arms, legs, chest, etc. If you are lying on your back (recommended for doing the Big Draw), push off from the surface with your buttocks and neck, while arching your back. This forces the hot sexual energy up and often leads to an explosive orgasm without any ejaculation. You may also experience altered states of consciousness with this very powerful technique.

LEARNING THROUGH MASTURBATION

Masturbation is an excellent way to become skilled at lasting a long time. Select a private, comfortable, safe place for your practice where you will not be interrupted. A wonderful variation is to have your partner watch you masturbate. In this way you can teach her exactly how you like to be touched and stimulated. But try it a few times alone before you put on a show for your lover.

Build your arousal to approximately 75% of the way to the point of no return. As you get better at it, you can go closer to 90% or more. The point of no return is that point at which ejaculation will become involuntary, when you’re likely to ejaculate within seconds, most certainly within minutes. Stop what you are doing. Use some of the techniques above for relaxation and energy movement and allow your excitement to subside. Your erection should also subside before you start again. This allows the old blood to move out of the penis taking with it waste products. When you start to re-build your arousal, fresh blood will engorge the penis giving you a new erection. This new blood carries with it a fresh supply of oxygen and hormones bringing strength, vitality and virility. Many men ejaculate simply because they do not allow their erection to diminish every 30-45 minutes—the penis becomes exhausted and involuntary ejaculation follows quickly.

Repeat this masturbation process of building to approximately 75% of your point of no return, then stop, rest, and build again, for any number of times. As you do this pay very careful attention to what is happening in your body. Notice how your body feels as you get closer and closer to orgasm. Notice that your body gives you signals about how close to ejaculation you are: heat and hardness of your erection, rapid breathing, muscular tension, and so on. In particular look for sensations in your genital area at the prostate gland. As your sexual energy builds in the prostate it is like a pressure cooker. When the pressure gets too high, smooth muscles go into involuntary spasm, forcing the ejaculation. If you pay attention you will certainly feel something in the prostate as you approach this point of involuntary ejaculation. As soon as you feel this sensation, instead of going on to complete the ejaculation, you are going to stop stimulating yourself and rest. Notice how your body feels as you relax and let the energy (and erection) subside. Once you become adept at recognizing this feeling in your prostate during self-pleasuring, you can also be alert to this feeling during lovemaking, including active intercourse with a partner.

OTHER TECHNIQUES FOR MASTERING EJACULATION

PositionsChange intercourse positions frequently. Experiment with various positions to find out if you can more easily delay ejaculation in some of them. There are an infinite variety of positions in the following categories: face to face, front to back, lying down, standing up, sitting, rear entry, and sideways. Some men report that it is easier for them to last longer during intercourse if the woman is on top. Also, face to face positions tend to be calmer, making it easier for the man to delay ejaculation, while rear entry positions tend to increase arousal very rapidly.

Communicate With Your Lover You must communicate your state of arousal to your lover. If your arousal is cresting too rapidly ask her to change what she is doing, to stop what she is doing or to slow down. Give her very specific feedback on what you want and what you can stand. Be sure to do this in a loving, respectful and playful way! Some women believe that men aren’t happy with the lovemaking until they come. Let her know that you’re having a great time and want to keep on sharing your pleasure together.

Examine Your Beliefs And Assumptions About Sex And Women. Generally the more you like, respect and admire women the easier it will be to learn voluntary ejaculation. On the other hand, the more you dislike women the more difficult it will be. The simple reason for this is that you will be in a hurry when you have sex if you dislike women. Sex will tend to be a maintenance chore necessary for tension release.

With a subtle shift in the way you think, perhaps you can begin to make love instead of just having sex. Open yourself to giving and receiving pleasure rather than trying to perform. Open your heart. Allow yourself to love your partner and be loved by her. Allow yourself to feel emotions as well as physical pleasure. Quick ejaculation is one of the ways men use to deny themselves pleasure and to avoid intimacy. Extended, ecstatic lovemaking requires surrendering and being vulnerable to your partner. Many men find that when they can let go of the need to keep everything under control, including lovemaking, their ejaculation response becomes much more manageable. It is ironic that less repressive control of feelings means more “control” or mastery of ejaculation response.

SORE PROSTATE

If after practicing techniques for delaying ejaculation you experience a sore prostate or “blue balls”, this only means that the sexual energy is building up in your genitals faster than you can move it out. This is not dangerous, simply uncomfortable. You can relieve this discomfort immediately by ejaculating, which releases all the pressure. If the discomfort does not go away, this may mean you have a medical disorder, such as a urinary tract infection, and you should see your doctor.

You are not alone.

Most couple who are claiming that they have great sex life with their partners are either lying or living in a fantasy sex life. So do not panic if you all your friends seem to have perfect sexual relationship with their partners.

It is normal.

Not having sex as you and your partner usually do during the first few years of your relationship is normal. There is no reason to panic as both of you are just comfortable with each other’s company. This means that sex is not that necessary to make or build a connection with your partner.

Quality, not quantity, is more important.

Do not be bothered with how often you and your partner make love. What is important is whenever you guys do, it is satisfying and rewarding for both of you. Which is better: regular yet boring sex or not-so-frequent but amazing and lasting sex?

Intimacy is not all about sex.

Some couples have this thinking that they can only achieve intimacy with their partners when they are having a great sex life. This is wrong as intimacy is not all about having amazing sexual relationship with your partner. Intimacy in partners can be seen by just simple yet touching gestures like holding hands or by spiritual connection such as sharing life’s hardships and joys. Yes, sex can do wonders in your relationship. But relationships are not just about sex.

Moreover, the following are some tips that can help you boost your sex life:

Open up.

Having a smooth communication with your partner is good. You two can benefit a lot in this aspect, especially in your sex life. Now, if you and your partner lack this aspect in your relationship, you might want to start to open up with your partner regarding your concerns about your sex life. This way, you’ll be able to express to your partner what you like and dislike in bed, same goes with your partner.

Flirting is fine.

To spice up your sex life, flirting can do the trick. See, people who claimed of having great sex are those who give time for flirting such as trading sexy phone calls or emails; quick sexy kisses; and teasing.

Think of sex as an act you and your partner should enjoy and not as obligation.

Sex should be enjoyed by couples and should not be regarded as something you owe to your partner. If you see sex as an obligation to your partner, your sex life will definitely come down into pieces.

Sexual knowledge and skill develop over a lifetime

Transforming Your Sexuality As a couple, you can extend the passion and satisfaction of your sexual life by evolving your regular sex into sacred sex. For thousands of years, and in a variety of cultures, sacred sex practices have affirmed the core message that sex is good, namely, an integral part of life connecting you to yourself, to your partner, and to the divine. Sacred sex shifts sex’s focus from achieving orgasm to union and pleasure. Lovemaking is expanded beyond the common understanding of sex as intercourse to include all manner of intimate contact. Sacred sex is a practical way to balance the purely physiological differences between men and women. Women gain the time their bodies need to be thoroughly aroused and totally satisfied in addition to receiving the affection and emotional connection they want. Men receive lots of explicit sexual activity, but, because intercourse is interspersed with other forms of sensual play, they are able to last long enough for their lovers’ gratification. Both partners experience greater pleasure and intimacy.

Experience all your senses, Always.

In sacred sex, you honor your body as a temple for your spirit and offer it as a gift to your lover. This approach sanctifies your body, asserting its beauty and magnificence. Shame and guilt disappear as you move beyond repression and give yourself permission to experience all your senses every moment.

Excerpted from the book Sensual Love Secrets for Couples: The Four Freedoms of Body, Mind, Heart and Soul, by Al Link and Pala Copeland, Llewellyn, 2007

“Sacred Sex – Body Freedom” Body Freedom -Part 5 of 7 by Al Link and Pala Copeland