Although you may think you are in touch with the natural instinctive sexual force that resides within, I beg to differ. You are and have been merely tapping the surface. {Scratching on the window pane} A boiling bubbling explosive volcanic eruption in artistic creative libido lies at the base of your frustration and unrest. Much more unfulfilled, unrefined, savagely induced “ART” impetus lies buried than you are currently aware of. Under the iceberg of discontent, passion moves in undulating waves of subtle unresolved pleasure. This undeniable chaotic sensation can only be experienced, not explained. No explanation will do it justice. You KNOW the feeling of longing and yearning for that which can not be seen or expressed with the five senses. Passion stands alone dismantling all inferior motivations.

Sometimes, on the most bizarre of occasions, and in the rarest of circumstances, it begins to move without your approval, knowledge or consent. Whoa! {Be those RAW occasions.} When the two ‘S’s start to rumble, the “P” begins to solicitously pump, the “A” points it sleeky ‘on target’ antennae, the “O” feels the intoxicating swoon while the “N” slips into go gear, Johnny bar the door. How could anyone possibly remain unmoved? “Behave yourself,” are the last two words it recognizes or responds to. To minutely understand and appreciate the cyclonic starting point of this momentous force can only be explained by returning to our primal roots. We are inherently instinctive savages by nature. We are not refined. We are powerful sexual beings who are electrified lighted magnets. Our personal level of passion depends upon just how much we repress the natural instincts in our lives. In other words, how natural and convenient we are to ourselves and others, leaving out superficial actions. You, me, all are authentic by design! The way in which you choose to express this exquisite authenticity is totally up to you.

The sheer amount of power {motivated sensuality} locked within the word Passion I dare not say. But whether you call it art, music, drama, the written word Passion derives its sacred basis from sex. And, I would say that’s an undoubtedly irresistible force of unequaled unparalleled sizzling sensation that few of us can do without. What does Passion mean to you? Without a moment’s hesitation, you immediately thought of the most thrilling sexual experience you ever encountered. No doubt. SEX is an exclusively erotically created subjective form of Passion imbued with artistic flavor, musical tones, dramatic interludes and spoken ecstasies. Which by the way, is the inexplicable reason why Passion means so many things to so many people. Passion is a decidedly regulated enjoyable practice we all undertake at one time or another by an act of will. ENTHUSIASM is generated by sexual Passion!

We realize without the statement, thereof, that the act of lovemaking is the ultimate creative act of divinity. When engaged in lovemaking, one is seeking the sublime ineffable source. The creation, application, presentation, revelation, and preservation of Passion are the starved elements of a lost art to be rekindled. Sensual Passion and the study thereof belong to all mankind. Passion makes your heart throb and your bottom bob! It is the essence of talent, ability, potential and inborn gifts of sacred decreed measure. Countless wars have been lost and won based upon the ardent pursuit of Passion. Sexual instinct substantiates Passion. No one person possesses a monopoly of talent for or the lack of ability to generate it. Everyone is a sexually imbued passionately motivated inspired creative artist in his own right. You possess a distinctive ‘feature’ that makes you who you are because of the Passion you alone possess. No one else can do what you can do in the exact same way you do it. You have things to do. Great things. It will take all of your self-generating sexually ignited Passion you possess to fulfill those desires.

The vital importance of your artistic contribution to mankind can not be overstated. You have a supreme gift which should be redeemed, recognized and recorded for its own sake. You are currently residing on Earth, not by accident, but for a specifically designated divine disguised purpose. That unique purpose, hidden in you, along with your sensually evoked energetic presence will not go unnoticed. Your life’s story will be told and demonstrated through immense artistic contribution. You represent immeasurable value and laudable merit in the Cosmic divine scheme of things. It’s all a matter of coming to that place where we all can appreciate the sacred messages hidden behind and beyond the unlikely artistic representations. Cosmic in nature, the therapeutic niche, where assumptions are forfeited and predilections are unheard of. Preferences must be discarded for the sake of the indisputable truth of the divine essence to be released freely. {To set free the soul’s captive to follow and embrace unconcerned united course of your chosen destiny.}

Ecstatic Passion encases a temporary form (flesh) for all to behold and interact, vibrating at levels that bring immeasurable pleasure. Bottom line: It is you telling the part of your Passion’s story through your individual creations. PASSION: the healing art of your own personal Cosmic Therapy. Your individually conceived vision, no matter how poorly constructed or elaborately devised, is but a whiff of the exhilarating aroma that points to something spectacular in motion. Through each man’s PASSION, we are allowed the opportunity to expand our horizons. From beginning to end, we are privy to the see into and through the eyes of the rare experiences of the multitudes of unnamed and unnumbered artists.

By using the principles offered through our own self-motivated Passion, we may come to really appreciate, value, and honor the stroke of our own and the other’s exclusive mark. We join with the divine to create what we WILL. Our rigid minds are encouraged to extract, diminish, and explode the outdated molds of habit and status quo, breaking down the prejudiced and selective barriers we maintain. We become fully present when we stop to contemplate the suppleness of each man’s divine purpose demonstrated in his artistic work. If we would but stop long enough to acknowledge divinity’s presence in the ordinary things, we would open ourselves to receive and participate in a life filled to overflowing zeal and unending enthusiasm. An emblematic artistic merging occurs as the onlooker is allowed to ingest the vision of grandeur so wittily covered up. A unified process of celestial osmosis occurs blending the effervescent stream of artistic delight. A reassuring feeling of comprehension takes hold as we, the viewer, along with the other artists embrace the interconnectivity revealed in all things. We stand in humble appreciation as we are reverently permitted to blend with all of creation in the cohesive whole, while gazing into another’s work, instead of breaking them into fragmented biased pieces. We are allowed to declare and celebrate the realization that the artistic work of the man in prison or the homeless man on the street or the crack addict, etc. is endowed with the same sacred magnificence. There are no distinctions, nor sexual preferences.

Passion is the truest reflection of what mankind is attracted to. He/she displays it in panoramic views that interest him the most. Passion manifests as the result of an unquenchable thirst to answer a deeply held mystery of some sort. It could be as simple as why a marriage ended or what to do with a jealousy issue you’ve not been able to resolve. In our mundane artistic daily walks, we are learning how to get over greed, resentment, guilt, bitterness, remorse and a million other human traits. We use our art to exploit these things in us! Sacred Sexuality will not be deterred. If one chooses to release and engage his/her Passion he/she is voluntarily acknowledging that he wants the inner vault of truth to be retrieved and the contents exposed no matter what!

Don’t lead with your body, no matter how taken you seem to be with a man. If he’s really interested in you, and not just in sex, he’ll wait until you think the time is right and respect that, whatever that timing is, and whether it is based on your religious beliefs, your personal preferences, or both. If he is aggressive in this area, he is not for you. Not just because he wants sex, but because he isn’t showing respect for what you think. He’s inconsiderate and only thinking of himself. You want someone who thinks of you first.

Having a physical relationship before you get to know someone may also cloud your judgment. You might find that the sex may be exciting and great, particularly if it has been a while. But if the match isn’t as good as you thought later, if you have already been intimate, you might wish later that you hadn’t been. If you’ve been there already, you know what I mean. It can also easily make sex the focus, instead of getting to know each other better first. Not that it can’t work the other way around, but you put the odds of better judgment in your favor with a more conservative course of action and a clearer head. Sexual Protection

The decision if, or when, to have sex rests with you, whether it is early on, or reserved until after marriage. Much has been written about the importance of close companions, particularly newer ones, having protected sex. Many sources of information are available about sexually transmitted diseases through your physician and Internet medical locations. It is highly sensible to learn about a man’s dating and sex history, and his truthfulness, before having any unprotected sex. Having a relationship break up is one form of hurt, suffering the consequences of a disease from unprotected sex is a far greater one. Be judicious. Discussing Sex

Somewhere along the way, having a frank discussion about sex is necessary. It is an important part of a relationship.

I have read that more than a few mature women have become disinterested in sex. While there could be medical explanations for this sometimes, which may be worthwhile investigating and seeking medical advice for, my guess is that the reason may lie more often in a man’s approach, lack of general sensitivity, failure to meet a woman’s sexual needs and fantasies or to stimulate her in ways she finds satisfying emotionally and physically.

There is also a need to ascertain whether a man’s sexual practices are acceptable to you. If you have been frustrated and unfulfilled in this area, do not to give up hope on a satisfying sexual relationship. Time, openness, adjustment, communication and caring for one another are all necessary ingredients. If your lover is loving and kind and pays attention to your sexual needs, as you do to his, things can be beautiful and exciting again. Keep this hope alive, as well as that of finding the special, wonderful and caring man to share love, romance, sex and your daily time with. Intimacy, Romance and Feeling Loved

Intimacy can be just as important for men as it is for women. Some of them just don’t know it. Some have never gotten past the basics. And some can’t be taught, or won’t want to change. But many can be and will be open to it with a little prompting. It is important for women to know that many men want the same kind of intimacy that they do.

Do you like to be hugged and kissed, have your arms and legs stroked lovingly and gently, be kissed on the neck, be hugged from behind and told how much you are loved? Do you like to just be kissed and hugged out of the blue for no reason and told “I love you”? Well, a lot of men like to have those things happen to them too. It makes them feel valued and loved, the same way you feel when it happens to you.

Do not hesitate to do these things to a man. It lets him know how much you love him. It shouldn’t just be a one way street. Many women want, or dream of, having a man share love with them, but they won’t share it themselves. Sometimes it might be because of their reserved nature, because they think it is not “lady like” or because they have always been the one having the attention paid to them because of their attractiveness. Intimacy and romance should be a two way street.

Be a toucher and a hugger. Put your arm around your man’s shoulders and give him a squeeze. It lets him know and feel how special he is.

If you love someone, let him know it in every way you can. You be the initiator, out of bed and in it. It is not just “the man’s job” to initiate sex and to orchestrate the sexual agenda. Be an active participant. Your initiatives let him know that you love him and want to show him that love by your overt actions. It can help a man feel that he is really loved and bond him ever closer to you. If a man always has to be the initiator, and always has to be the one making the moves in bed, it can sometimes make him feel that his lover is too passive, and doesn’t love him enough to want to enthusiastically express her love to him. A woman and a man coming at each other in enthusiastic love can create a new excitement all its own, that can help re-fire what you may have thought was lost. So do not hesitate to be more aggressive. It can be a real turn on for a man. Your good communication with one another can help both of you find the right level. If you feel that your date is deficient in these areas, have a serious, but pleasant talk about it with him. Together you will find the sexual balance that will make your love grow all the more.

Some men find these kinds of romantic expressions very difficult, and sometimes uncomfortable, but with some encouragement and telling him how very important it is to you for him to show you these things, hopefully he will respond in a positive way. You lead the way and set the example. It will greatly increase the love connection you feel for one another. Keep romance alive as it should be, and will go a long way toward creating and maintaining a lasting and love filled relationship. Be each other’s lovers.

Do your part to stimulate romance. Let your special man know that this is important to you, if it is. Wear some things you know he really likes. Look good and smell fragrant. Have surprise candlelight dinners or surprise your guy by taking him to a romantic restaurant or someplace else where you can be together in a close and special way.

Be provocative once in a while. Wear something that is form fiting and flattering or something sexy and frilly that you know your man will like, so it looks like you walked out of a dream. Feel comfortable about this. Just look good and be radiant. You will stir his heart, his passion and his love for you.

Have some drinks or other beverages and little snacks on the table in the living room, den or deck when he comes home. Sit and talk a while and relax.(Studies have shown that many disagreements arise within a short time after someone who has been out for a while arrives home. Allow for relaxation, deceleration and reconnecting time.)

Spending private time together every day is very important. Make time for yourselves. Do not let daily activities leave you with only crumbs and leftovers for each other. If you have children, maybe this is better done later in the evening. Hopefully, your man will start responding in kind and you’ll have two builders for the “house of love and romance”, not just one. Some of this may have sounded fine to you or some of it may have sounded like it didn’t fit very well with you or your partner. What I’ve written is meant to be suggestive only. Just keep the same love and romance objective. Then fine tune it and do what seems most natural and what works best for both of you to make your love what you want it to be, and what it should be. Fear of Intimacy

I am not speaking of sex here necessarily, but of a deep and loving closeness of kissing, holding and hugging the one you love, touching, and speaking to one another in the most private and personal way. For some women it comes very naturally to be intimate in these ways, and to desire a partner who also is. But that is surely not everybody. Some women find it difficult to encourage intimacy with a man, and to welcome it themselves. It could be the result of a past hurt, the risk of feeling foolish, particularly if it all doesn’t work out, or simply that a woman has never been intimate with a man before. Whatever the reason, I encourage you to go forward in intimacy when you have feelings for someone. There is always the risk of being hurt, but it is a heck of a way to go through life never having shared the sweetness of intimacy with a man you love. Don’t force it. Just relax and let it come slowly and naturally. If you have the right man, he will be gentle,kind and understanding. He probably needs intimacy as much as you do. Together you will discover your way to a new and unique level of happiness that both of you can share together always.

Perhaps you are in thirties, forties, fifties, sixties or beyond and have never been intimate with a man before. There is no shame in that. Maybe you didn’t meet a person you felt that way about before. Or maybe it has been too uncomfortable for you to let your feelings go in that direction. But when you feel as if you have found the right man, follow your heart and share yourself with each other. That is the greatest love. The giving of yourself to one another. You will find a completeness in yourself, and in life, that you didn’t know was missing. Once you find it you will never want to let go of it in your life again. Even if the relationship doesn’t work out in the end, you will have freed yourself, and more fully completed yourself, for any further relationship you might have. Let the spiritual beauty you have inside you pass over to the man you love. You will both be all the better and happier for it. It will be ok. Just listen to your heart. Complete Sex

Sex should have a physical, emotional and spiritual dimension. The physical part that produces desire and provides a relief to mind and body is what most people can easily relate to. When it is shared between two people who have love and/or caring for one another, it also produces a special emotional closeness.

The spiritual part is more elusive, and is often absent. This takes place when the partners are not only joining their bodies, but joining their minds and hearts and souls in giving themselves fully to one another during those special moments. At those times, try to think of the deep love and closeness you feel for him.

Talk with him about it. Work on making those moments everything they can be at the deepest level. The physical part is wonderful in and of itself, but that can be heightened to the greatest degree when both the woman and the man bring their entire being to the moment. Try to find someone who understands this. There is a world of difference between “having sex” and having a deep and meaningful sexual relationship. Experience the deepest kind of love you can have at the deepest level. Give yourselves completely and fully to one another.

1. Find out what music your lover likes, and play it.

2. Sing to each other, especially if you can’t sing. Listen to a song that turns you on and write the words out so you will remember them. Then without any music sing that song as a surprise gift to your lover. Watch the tears come to their eyes.

3. Find out what scents your lover likes, e.g., perfumes and especially essential oils. Get an essential oil diffuser.

4. Wear the clothes your lover likes. Try something wild in latex.

5. Serve the food your lover likes.

6. Select locations for lovemaking that your partner likes.

7. Prepare yourself for stimulating conversation. Do some homework if necessary to have something interesting to talk about.

8. Give lots of compliments on a regular basis.

9. Compliment you lover in front of others.

10. Tell each other all the things you like and appreciate about each other. Do this every day.

11. Show your body to your lover. Let them look as long as they like.

12. Take your clothes off while your lover watches.

13. Tease your partner with partial nudity at unexpected times, like when your mother or children are in the other room. Be artful and naughty about it so only your lover sees you.

14. Explore each other’s bodies with your eyes, hands and tongues.

15. Hold a mirror for your partner to look at their own genitals.

16. Women, touch your lover’s genitals with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public (discretely).

17. Men, nibble on your partner’s neck with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public.

18. Give each other a sensual massage. Try short 5 minute full body massages on a daily basis, as well as longer versions (one hour or longer) when time permits. Use an exotic massage oil. You can mix some yourself with an excellent essential oil in a base of first cold press grapeseed (canola) oil.

19. Create a temple-of-love space in anticipation of your lovemaking. Make your space beautiful. Keep it simple.

20. Create your own rituals & ceremonies. Keep it simple.

21. Tell each other what turns you on. If they don’t know they can’t give it to you.

22. Read and/or write erotic poetry and stories.

23. Watch erotic, romantic movies and videos.

24. Take a bath or shower together. Even small tubs are great fun. Make a mess.

25. Wash each other’s bodies. Be kind and gentle and provocative, or raucous and wild, whatever you’re both into.

26. Wash each other’s feet. Use a small dishpan and some wonderful natural soap. Rub on an aromatic foot lotion.

27. Suck on your partner’s squeaky-clean toes.

28. Feed each other food and drink. Use your fingers. Make a mess.

29. Read stories out loud to each other.

30. Wear costumes and masks as part of your foreplay. Oooh, mystery!

31. Tie each other up. Men especially love to be tied up.

32. Paint each other’s bodies. Use washable/edible body paint or chocolate sauce you make yourself or buy.

33. Wash each other’s hair.

34. Give each other pedicures.

35. Prepare sensual meals together. Fondle and tease each other as you work/play.

36. Watch the sun come up or go down, or the moon go across the water.

37. Lie out under the stars. Sleep out under the stars.

38. Make flower arrangements together, fresh or dried.

39. Send each other erotic post cards without any special occasion.

40. Write love letters to each other.

41. Say the words “I love you. I need you. I want you.”

42. Whisper words of adoration in your lover’s ears before, during and after love making.

43. Talk “dirty” in your lover’s ears in the heat of passion during your lovemaking.

44. Hold hands in public.

45. Go on picnics.

46. Call each other by “sucky” pet names.

47. Make foreplay go on and on and on and on and….

48. Men, help your woman come to orgasm before intercourse – at least some times!

49. Men, be sure she is wet, before you put your golden rod into her fig pocket!

50. Romance each other for hours, with intercourse on and off the whole time. Men, learn to delay ejaculation!

51. Cuddle after intercourse. Look into each other’s eyes. Say words of love and adoration. Thank the God and Goddess for their favors.

52. Cry in front of each other.

53. Share what you are feeling. Risk being vulnerable.

54. Try different lovemaking positions. Experiment.

55. Try different lovemaking locations. Experiment.

56. Use love toys. Experiment.

57. Laugh during intercourse. Laugh before intercourse. Laugh after intercourse.

58. Offer unexpected gifts. Keep it simple, but thoughtful. Pick the right thing, not the biggest or most expensive thing.

59. Remember special occasions. Special occasions should be special!

60. Say please and thank you for sexual favors and for many small things each day. “Whether the pretty woman grants or withholds her favors, she always likes to be asked for them.” Ovid

61. Surprise your lover with the unexpected. Experiment.

62. Try something new. Experiment.

63. Try something dangerous. Experiment.

64. Try something outrageous. Experiment.

65. Try something kinky. Experiment.

66. Try something you are afraid of. Experiment.

67. Try something forbidden. Experiment.

68. Share your fantasies. Act them out with each other. Don’t ever share fantasies about someone else with your lover!

69. Masturbate each other.

70. Masturbate in front of each other.

71. Dress up for a romantic dinner.

72. Eat dinner by candlelight.

73. Make love by candlelight.

74. Put on little skits (acts) for each other. Experiment.

75. Be foolish and playful. Experiment.

76. Drop something that is really important for you to do, and make love instead.

77. Call when you are away and say “I miss you terribly. I can’t wait to get home to hold you.”

78. Talk “dirty” over the phone to each other.

79. Shop for sex toys and lingerie together.

80. Ladies, wear garter belt and stockings instead of pantyhose.

81. Put blindfolds on each other during foreplay and intercourse, sometimes.

82. Role play: innocent high school student, slut, nurse, stripper, master, slave, bad boy or girl, etc.

83. Look into each other’s eyes, if possible until tears follow the opening of your heart in love.

84. Match the rhythm of your breathing during lovemaking.

85. Take rapid breaths to heat up your excitement.

86. Take long, deep, slow breaths to maintain a high level of excitement without going over into orgasm. Prolonging the orgasmic excitement leads to ecstasy.

87. Just hold each other.

88. Talk where one only listens. The one who listens does not try to take any responsibility, does not try to intervene or “fix” anything. Just listen. This is harder to do than it sounds.

89. Give each other a 10-second kiss when coming and going.

90. Make out like high school kids, without intercourse.

91. Practice Tantra Sacred Sex muscle control, breathing and visualization together. If you don’t know how, take a workshop together.

92. Give each other flowers regularly. Men love to receive flowers too!

93. Have fresh flowers around as often as possible.

94. Have lots of green healthy plants in the house.

95. Notice all the little things you do for each other, that you regularly take for granted, and let each other know how important they are to you. Show your appreciation.

96. Spend time remembering wondrous past experiences together when you were happy and joyous.

97. Take turns leading when dancing slow.

98. In conversation always use loving names when referring to your genitals, e.g., jade stalk, wand of light, mystery cave, succulent flower, etc.

99. Make plans for the future.

100. Talk about spending the rest of your life together.

101. Write out your vision for the kind of relationship you want to create together.

102. Display your relationship vision/dream where you will see it often.

103. Serve each other breakfast in bed.

104. Sleep together NAKED! Curl around each other like spoons. Roll over together to change positions in the night.

105. In the morning when you wake up lying naked together, the man goes between the woman’s legs. If he is not aroused, he will use the soft entry by wetting his penis with saliva (or any suitable lubricant such as water based or silicone lubricants, or any cooking oil) and inserting it into her vagina. Lie still with your eyes open and match your breathing for 2-5 minutes.

Coming too soon may be due to a physical medical condition, but this is not common. Most men who ejaculate prematurely do so because of learned behavior and sexual beliefs, or because they haven’t discovered the simple techniques that can help them last.

In order to make ejaculation completely voluntary, a man must learn to do two things. First he must learn to keep his entire body relaxed regardless of how sexually aroused he becomes. Second he must learn to move the sexual charge that builds up during lovemaking away from his genitals and circulate that energy throughout his entire body.

RELAXATION

Men usually tense their bodies as ejaculation approaches. This is a natural involuntary reflex, but by deliberately applying some of the following relaxation techniques you can become skilled at letting go and staying loose even at intense levels of sexual arousal.

MassageFew things enable a man to be as profoundly relaxed as a loving erotic full-body massage. Women can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies by giving them a massage as a prelude to intercourse. Most men will notice a significant improvement in their ability to delay ejaculation after receiving a massage. Not only does massage help relax your body, it also opens up your flow of energy so that the sexual charge does not get stuck in your genitals.

Stop And Become Still Or Slow DownBefore you get to the point of no return, try slowing or stopping all movement. This usually works every time. Wait for the energy and excitement to subside and then you can resume active lovemaking.

Breathe Slowly And DeeplyAs you come close to climax, switch your attention away from your genitals onto your breath. Take slow deep breaths that fill your entire lungs. Make your exhalation last about as long as your inhalation. Let your body go loose. Open your eyes and make eye contact with your partner. Try to breathe in rhythm together. Continue breathing in this deliberate way until your sexual energy has calmed down.

Avoid Stimulating The FrenulumThe frenulum is the bulge of loose skin just below the glans head on the underside of your penis. This spot is very easily excitable and can build the man too quickly to climax. Stay away from this spot to avoid involuntary ejaculation.

Squeezing The GlansThe glans of the penis is the big smooth head at the top of the penis shaft. When ejaculation is imminent you or your partner can squeeze the glans firmly and hold on tight. With the other hand use your thumb and index finger to press firmly on both sides of your penis at the base where the penis rises from the pubic bone. This effectively cuts off the neurological ejaculatory response from your brain to your prostate and will stop the ejaculation. This technique is easiest to use when your are being stimulated orally or manually. It also requires split second timing. Do not do it if ejaculation has already begun, it can be quite painful!

Three Finger Perineum PressWhen you reach a point of high arousal and you know ejaculation is close, you or your partner can press on the perineum, the stretch of skin between your anus and scrotum. In preparation for using the technique during active intercourse, try touching this spot when an ejaculation starts and you will feel the vibrations of climax in your prostate gland. This is how you will know where to press. Notice where the vibrations are strongest – usually at about the midpoint on the perineum. To delay ejaculation, when you are at the point of no return but before the ejaculation has started, press firmly on this area of the perineum with the first three fingers of either hand. You can do this yourself or your partner can do it for you. Hold until the urge to ejaculate subsides.

MOVING YOUR SEXUAL ENERGY

Learning to circulate hot sexual energy is not really difficult, but it takes discipline and practice. Within a few days of trying some of the techniques mentioned below you’ll likely notice an improvement in your ability to delay ejaculation. Real sexual energy mastery, however, may take several months or even years. But unlike childhood piano lessons this is practice you’ll look forward to!

The PC Pump PC stands for pubococcygeus muscle. Actually the PC muscle is a group of muscles that together make up the pelvic diaphragm which stretches from your pubic bone around to your tailbone. It includes muscles used in urination and bowel movements, muscles around your anus, testicles, penis, and perineum. Pumping the PC muscle is one of the easiest, simplest and fastest ways to learn to move energy and delay ejaculation. Pumping the PC muscle means squeezing or contracting the muscle and then allowing it to relax repeatedly. Alternately you can squeeze and then push out. You can do rapid pumps or long slow ones.

When you squeeze the PC muscle you pump the hot sexual energy up from your genitals and into the upper part of your body. This prevents the sexual energy from building up to involuntary ejaculation. If you can stay relaxed and move energy away from your prostate as fast as it builds up, you can delay ejaculation as long as you want. This is how Tantric lovers are able to extend active lovemaking for 6 or 8 hours or more. By the way, strengthening your PC muscle usually results in longer and stronger ejaculations when you do have them.

Add PC pumping to your fitness routine. Build up to several hundred squeezes per day over a two week period and eventually (if you are really keen) increase to 1000 or more per day. This might sound like a lot but you can do 100 PC squeezes in a few minutes. You don’t even need to find new time to do PC pumps—try them when you are standing in line, driving your car, hoisting a few at the bar.

Make SoundAs you get more and more excited make lots of sounds. You can moan, groan, yell, scream, chant, sing, growl and make animal noises. The louder and stronger the sounds you make the more that sound will carry your sexual energy with it, up and away from your genitals. A wonderful technique is to harmonize your chanting sounds with your lover. When you do this at the peak of sexual arousal the sounds you make together can be exquisitely beautiful.

Hand MovementsMoving your hands up your body, or having your partner move her hands up your body from your genitals to the top of your head, either on the front or back of your body, is an amazingly simple but effective way to move energy. You and your partner can do this repeatedly throughout the length of your lovemaking.

The Big DrawYou can alternate relaxing your body with a conscious full-body contraction—the Big Draw. Breathe very deeply and rapidly for about a minute when you are almost ready to come. Then hold your breath and clench every muscle in your body. Tighten you fists. Curl your toes. Grit your teeth. Tighten your buttocks, abdomen, arms, legs, chest, etc. If you are lying on your back (recommended for doing the Big Draw), push off from the surface with your buttocks and neck, while arching your back. This forces the hot sexual energy up and often leads to an explosive orgasm without any ejaculation. You may also experience altered states of consciousness with this very powerful technique.

LEARNING THROUGH MASTURBATION

Masturbation is an excellent way to become skilled at lasting a long time. Select a private, comfortable, safe place for your practice where you will not be interrupted. A wonderful variation is to have your partner watch you masturbate. In this way you can teach her exactly how you like to be touched and stimulated. But try it a few times alone before you put on a show for your lover.

Build your arousal to approximately 75% of the way to the point of no return. As you get better at it, you can go closer to 90% or more. The point of no return is that point at which ejaculation will become involuntary, when you’re likely to ejaculate within seconds, most certainly within minutes. Stop what you are doing. Use some of the techniques above for relaxation and energy movement and allow your excitement to subside. Your erection should also subside before you start again. This allows the old blood to move out of the penis taking with it waste products. When you start to re-build your arousal, fresh blood will engorge the penis giving you a new erection. This new blood carries with it a fresh supply of oxygen and hormones bringing strength, vitality and virility. Many men ejaculate simply because they do not allow their erection to diminish every 30-45 minutes—the penis becomes exhausted and involuntary ejaculation follows quickly.

Repeat this masturbation process of building to approximately 75% of your point of no return, then stop, rest, and build again, for any number of times. As you do this pay very careful attention to what is happening in your body. Notice how your body feels as you get closer and closer to orgasm. Notice that your body gives you signals about how close to ejaculation you are: heat and hardness of your erection, rapid breathing, muscular tension, and so on. In particular look for sensations in your genital area at the prostate gland. As your sexual energy builds in the prostate it is like a pressure cooker. When the pressure gets too high, smooth muscles go into involuntary spasm, forcing the ejaculation. If you pay attention you will certainly feel something in the prostate as you approach this point of involuntary ejaculation. As soon as you feel this sensation, instead of going on to complete the ejaculation, you are going to stop stimulating yourself and rest. Notice how your body feels as you relax and let the energy (and erection) subside. Once you become adept at recognizing this feeling in your prostate during self-pleasuring, you can also be alert to this feeling during lovemaking, including active intercourse with a partner.

OTHER TECHNIQUES FOR MASTERING EJACULATION

PositionsChange intercourse positions frequently. Experiment with various positions to find out if you can more easily delay ejaculation in some of them. There are an infinite variety of positions in the following categories: face to face, front to back, lying down, standing up, sitting, rear entry, and sideways. Some men report that it is easier for them to last longer during intercourse if the woman is on top. Also, face to face positions tend to be calmer, making it easier for the man to delay ejaculation, while rear entry positions tend to increase arousal very rapidly.

Communicate With Your Lover You must communicate your state of arousal to your lover. If your arousal is cresting too rapidly ask her to change what she is doing, to stop what she is doing or to slow down. Give her very specific feedback on what you want and what you can stand. Be sure to do this in a loving, respectful and playful way! Some women believe that men aren’t happy with the lovemaking until they come. Let her know that you’re having a great time and want to keep on sharing your pleasure together.

Examine Your Beliefs And Assumptions About Sex And Women. Generally the more you like, respect and admire women the easier it will be to learn voluntary ejaculation. On the other hand, the more you dislike women the more difficult it will be. The simple reason for this is that you will be in a hurry when you have sex if you dislike women. Sex will tend to be a maintenance chore necessary for tension release.

With a subtle shift in the way you think, perhaps you can begin to make love instead of just having sex. Open yourself to giving and receiving pleasure rather than trying to perform. Open your heart. Allow yourself to love your partner and be loved by her. Allow yourself to feel emotions as well as physical pleasure. Quick ejaculation is one of the ways men use to deny themselves pleasure and to avoid intimacy. Extended, ecstatic lovemaking requires surrendering and being vulnerable to your partner. Many men find that when they can let go of the need to keep everything under control, including lovemaking, their ejaculation response becomes much more manageable. It is ironic that less repressive control of feelings means more “control” or mastery of ejaculation response.

SORE PROSTATE

If after practicing techniques for delaying ejaculation you experience a sore prostate or “blue balls”, this only means that the sexual energy is building up in your genitals faster than you can move it out. This is not dangerous, simply uncomfortable. You can relieve this discomfort immediately by ejaculating, which releases all the pressure. If the discomfort does not go away, this may mean you have a medical disorder, such as a urinary tract infection, and you should see your doctor.

You can do it and all it takes is swallowing a little pride and loosening up a bit.  Let me explain…

First of all, for most men, few things are more dissatisfying than making love to a woman who doesn’t move a muscle or make a sound – no matter what he does to or for her.

And yet, based on the feedback of many women, their husband goes through the act of lovemaking in a passionless, expressionless, emotionless, sterile way.  Oh sure, he’ll have a bit of a scene when he climaxes but up until that point, there’s just not enough spirit there to really excite his wife.

So, the first thing a husband can do to heat things up during lovemaking is make some noise.  Maybe even make a lot of noise.  Be expressive.  Let your lady HEAR that she really pleasures you. 

But, don’t stop there.  Let her also SEE via your body language that she really knows how to take care of you just right.  And, let her FEEL both from the energy coming from you and from the touch of your body that she’s doing a fantastic job.

Do this even if it’s not true and it will soon enough become true!

To emphasize this point, a dildo is never as good for a woman as the real deal precisely for the reason that there’s no life to a dildo.  Think about it from your perspective…would you rather be with an exciting woman who lets you know that she enjoys what you’re doing to and for her or a lifeless blow-up doll?

Well, if you’re a normal man, it’s self-evident that you’d rather be with a passionate woman – just like your wife would rather be with a passionate man.

So, the next time you make love with your wife, SHOW HER SOME LIFE!  Rev things up by putting some passion into it – instead of just being the human equivalent of a dildo to your wife.

Another thing that some women complain to me about is that when it comes to lovemaking, their man has gotten LAZY.  He just lays back, gets comfortable, and pushes all the work of making the lovemaking experience good onto his wife.

As a man, you know yourself that if you and another man were assigned to a job and you were doing all the work while the other fellow sat idly by, too lazy to do any work, you’d quickly come to resent him, right?

My friend, it’s the same with your wife.  If she consistently has to do all the work in lovemaking, she will soon progress to the point where she DOES NOT enjoy it and eventually to the point she RESENTS it.

Sure, if your wife’s a normal woman, she wants to give you pleasure but that doesn’t mean she wants to carry the whole load of having to pleasure you AND herself.

So, take shared responsibility for making the lovemaking experience fun and exciting and it will be the fun and exciting experience it’s meant to be.  Take shared responsibility for giving and receiving pleasure and the lovemaking experience will be mutually pleasurable.

Now, let me tie all of the above together…

The best lovemaking is a joint-adventure-exploration.  The husband gives and takes.  The wife gives and takes.  One does something for the other and then the other does something back.  It’s a switching back and forth of CONTROL and ROLE.

As simplistic as this may sound, many women complain that their husband does nothing more than “bore in” as he tries to rush both he and his wife to a climax – or even worse, he rushes forward to HIS own climax without regard to hers.

Here’s how a man can apply this “back and forth” concept to create a more memorable, more exciting lovemaking experience for both he and his wife…

As the lovemaking experience progresses, alternate the scene between dominant and submissive and between naughty and nice.  Alternate so that you’re dominant and a little later your wife’s the dominant one.  Alternate so that at some points, things are naughty and at others they are nice.

So for example, at one moment, a husband can take a position of dominant power while he holds his wife’s wrists over her head with one hand and her chin with his other hand and passionately kisses her.  Later, he can shift his wife into a position of power – perhaps as she gets on top of him he switches into a mini-role-play and says something like, “Yes mistress!  I am your sex-slave…I love the power you have over me…”

At one moment, a man can tell his woman what he wants her to do.  Then, he can shift things over so that his woman is telling him what she want him to do.  At one moment, a man can put his wife in the position he wants her in and after a bit, he leads his wife into her putting him in the position she wants him in.

At one moment, a man can tell his wife to get on her knees because he’s going to do her doggy style just like the naughty girl inside of her likes to be done but at another moment, he’s sweetly whispering “I love you’” into his wife’s ear while they make nice, quiet love in the missionary position but then he switches back to naughty by switching them both from intercourse to oral.

This kind of back and forth is a huge turn on for women – and it makes things a lot spicier for men too.  This sharing of the control – of directing the action – and the switching of roles is a big part of the fun.

I can promise you this…if a husband and wife will banter back and forth between dominant and submissive and between naughty and nice every time they make love, their sex life will NEVER become boring or stale.

Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro of InitiateIntimacy.com. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if a resource box pointing to the following websites is included with it.