You have been awake since 5 am. Feedings, diapers, laundry, meals, emails, feedings and more feedings. You plop into bed exhausted at 11 pm, praying your baby will sleep for five hours in a row. You glance over at your husband who has that little gleam in his eye. âSex now? No way! Roll over and go to sleep dear!â
Itâs a familiar scene for families with young children. As a mom, you are too tired for any kind of sex, let alone great sex. But you know a physical relationship with your husband is part of a healthy marriage. You feel badly for not desiring sex, but youâre too tired to do anything about it. So how can you rekindle your desire for intimacy, even with a new baby?
1. Put it on the backburner, but donât forget about it. Having a baby does take a great amount of time, work and energy. Sex may have to go on the backburner when your baby has a need. But just like you wouldnât leave food sitting on the backburner for weeks, donât forget about sex completely. When the time isnât right for you, tell your spouse youâd really like to make love another time, how about on the weekend? Set a real time and keep your commitment. Food left on the backburner will eventually go bad and the same is true about closeness in marriage if you neglect lovemaking too long.
2. Put your mind to it. Your brain weighs just over three pounds, but it has 12 billion cells with thousands of thoughts blazing through it each day. These thoughts determine what you think of yourself and what your actions will be. If you keep telling yourself, âIâm too tired to have sexâ or âI donât want my husband to see me naked,â guess what? Youâll act on these thoughts and avoid sex indefinitely. Why not think of yourself as a lover? Re-train your mind and paint a different picture of yourself as the woman your husband is dreaming about. Make a point of thinking each day, âI am a sexy woman, desired by my husband. I am looking forward to being intimate with my spouse.â
3. Put it on the calendar. When your baby has an appointment at the doctorâs office, do you go? Of course you do. Events written in the calendar with a specific time and place get done. The same applies to lovemaking. Start with putting one special time for romance with your husband in your schedule. Anticipate a great time together. Youâll be so energized and feel so close to your husband that youâll be scheduling your next love appointment right away.
Having a new baby means making adjustments in your marriage. As you make time for sex, youâll see your husband become more responsive to your needs. Heâll be doing more diapers and helping out with baby so you can get ready for your date nights at home. Now thatâs something to get you in the mood!
Todayâs Action Step: Talk to your husband about this article, âSex and the New Mom.â Schedule a time in the next two weeks for lovemaking.
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Tags: Baby, Diapers, Doctor’s Office, Great Sex, Husband, Lovemaking, Marriage, Mom, New Baby, Sexy, Spouse, Woman